DON'T TOUCH ME NOW!

“It's a beautiful night,
We're looking for something dumb to do.
Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you”

Marry U- Bruno Mars

Can his lyrics get any sweeter than this? Woohoo My boy

I hate to give birth to my 1^st blog entry and it’s bound to be a damn emo one. Gosh, but really can’t help. I got this whole freaking anxious feeling, feel like screaming out on the top of my lungs, but it’s so gonna wake my grandparents up so … blee drop it. Words can’t say anything much but if it comes out of my mouth now it will be covered with sorrow and hate to say this but tears!

Never feel so insecure in my entire life. Not that I’m saying I’m strong or anything. But seriously this whole moving to a new stage of life or what shit you want to call it is just so overwhelming and I mean it. I’m leaving behind almost everything dearest to my heart to go JC, gosh my second home NYGBS, my roomie, my gang, my care- freeness. And to get back what?

A freaking insecure subject combination, seriously I’m so the 1^st and most probably the only one to choose this combi???? Will I make it through J1? Ever? I hate the feeling of disappointing my mom so much but I’m not even sure whether I can do well in J1 to make up for my down-the-slope S3 and S4 results, but really no one to accompany me? And even better than that, having to adapt to a new environment all over again. I’m never THE girl who will go all out that people like, I’m more the corner girl at first. But gosh, I don’t wanna be the weirdo in the class!

And I hate myself for saying this, but I also feel insecurity in my closest friends? Is it me being too goddamn jealous or what? But they seem to be so much closer to others that I sometimes also doubt our friendships? Gosh I hate myself so much much much now. I feel like punching me in the face, and sinking my face in the pillow.

I’d better stop before I sink deeper. Cheer up soon babe! And smile.

Wish life was this beautiful, like that in a bubble world. A PURPLE one.

Beautiful she is!